Tiger Woods, who overcame a four-shot deficit in Dubai and won with a birdie, birdie finish, took his winnings and his nine billion dollar appearance fee to the Dubai Airport and bought the world’s only super-sonic hovercraft. He is currently racing to the Phoenix area, where he will play all 72 holes of the FBR Open this afternoon, finishing ace, birdie, eagle, and winning the tournament by 17 strokes.
“I can’t let J.B. Holmes, or, God forbid, Mickelson win this storied tournament,” says Woods. “Plus, I owe it to the fans to make four holes-in-one on the sixteenth, as there haven’t been any since I started playing in Dubai.”
Woods has confirmed that he will be taking over as Giants quarterback at halftime of the Superbowl, allowing Eli Manning to spoon on the sidelines with Kenny Chesney. He may also spend some time shutting down Randy Moss on defense. Time constraints prevent Woods from arriving early enough to win the coin toss by seven and start in place of Manning.
Tiger is going to blow it up in 2008!