They both got into USC
I think we’ve made it abundantly clear how we feel about USC here at Making It Rain.
But especially after they were knocked off of their ivory dildo pedestal in the largest point spread upset in the history of Division 1 football by the Mighty Mensans of Leland Stanford Junior University, I [...]
Archive for the ‘college football’ Category
What Do a USC student and a Stanford Student Have in Common?
Posted in college football, usc on October 8, 2007 | Leave a Comment »
I Still Miss Jill Arrington
Posted in college football, hot women, sec on September 18, 2007 | 2 Comments »
Contrary to popular belief, the hottest thing to come out of the University of Florida in the last few years is not ESPN’s Erin Andrews.
As smokin’ as this ex-Florida Dazzler dancer is, the spread option offense is hotter.
Consider this: Through the first three games this season, on first down, Florida is averaging over 12 yards [...]
That Dad-Gum Mr. Spurrier
Posted in Phil Fulmer, Rachael Ray covered in turkey juice, Vols, college football, steve spurrier on September 18, 2007 | Leave a Comment »
(RING.) Hello, this is the ol’ ball coach.
Uh, Mr. Spurrier? This is Phillip Fulmer.
SS: Well, shoooo-weeeee, Philly-boy! What’s going on, ya big ol’ tub of lard?
PF: Uh, well, Mr. Spurrier, actually I’m calling about that dad-gum game last Saturday.
SS: What game exactly do you want to talk about, fat boy? I’m kinda busy here, [...]
It’s a Good Thing the Pope is German, Not Irish
Posted in Jimmy Clausen, Michigan sucks, Phil Fulmer, Vols, college football on September 16, 2007 | 3 Comments »
Michigan-38 Notre Dame-0
Thirty-eight to nuttin’. Five td’s and a field goal to zoo.
From a historical perspective, that’d be XXXVIII to . For you uneducated Philistines out there, that’s the Mayan symbol for zero, a concept they invented. But before we get all excited about how brilliant the Mayan society was [...]
Separated At Birth
Posted in Jimmy Clausen, Michigan sucks, Peyton Manning, college football, hot women on September 12, 2007 | Leave a Comment »
B-list country singer Chely Wright and B-list TV chef Giada deLaurentiis
Masters’ Champion Zach Johnson and Super Bowl Champion Peyton Manning
Notre Dame QB Jimmy Clausen and Michigan Coach Lloyd Carr
Frogs Are Raining From the Sky!
Posted in Vols, college football, hot women, sec on September 10, 2007 | Leave a Comment »
I’m typing this from my wireless keyboard, cowering under my desk waiting for the seventh seal to be broken.
Four, count `em, four!, SEC teams lost at home this past weekend. And only one of them was Vanderbilt.
The University of Miss-Again and the Serial Papists of South Bend are now 0-4, losing by a combined score [...]
Appy State is Hot Hot Hot!
Posted in college football on September 5, 2007 | 2 Comments »
Where I (sometimes) work is an ad agency, the President of which is a Michigan grad. The lowest man on the totem pole around here, the newest hire, is fresh out of Appy State. In fact, he was at that glorious game in the Big House last weekend. The President has been reminded several times [...]
Can Someone Change Coach Bowden’s Diaper, Please?
Posted in college football on September 4, 2007 | Leave a Comment »
The only relevant question concerning last night’s Clemson/Florida State game is:
Will Bobby Bowden gracefully retire at the end of this season or will he be forced out in disgrace?
I’m hoping for disgrace.
I’m also hoping to visit Tallahassee very soon.
Listen Up, College Football Analyst Tools!
Posted in college football on September 4, 2007 | Leave a Comment »
When you’re talking about the difficult prospects a team has ahead due to an early season loss (Michigan, Notre Dame, Tennessee) or the rigorous schedule looming over their season (the SEC,) don’t say, “They’ve got a tough road to hoe.”
It’s a “row,” dumbass, not a road! You don’t hoe roads. You hoe rows, as in, [...]
The Biggest Deal in College Football Nobody’s Talking About (Yet)
Posted in college football on September 1, 2007 | 1 Comment »
The NCAA moved the kick-off line back five yards to the 30 yard line this year. That 15 feet is gonna be a big deal. Just you wait until Florida starts every drive from the 40.
When I say nobody’s talking about it, I’m exaggerating slightly. Somebody’s talking about it.
Nobody understood this danger better [...]
The Big Tease
Posted in college football on August 30, 2007 | 1 Comment »
Football starts today. Real football. Games that count. Let’s look at some schedule highlights:
Buffalo at Rutgers
Weber State at Boise State
Youngstown State at Ohio State
Florida International at Penn State
Western Kentucky at Florida
Western Michigan at West Virginia
Arkansas State at Texas
North Texas at Oklahoma
Idaho at USC
What a steaming pile of shit we have here, folks. How can the [...]
It’s a Mighty Small Bandwagon
Posted in The Vick Criminal Empire, college football, sec, usc on August 26, 2007 | 7 Comments »
It seems USC is the consensus #1 pick in just about every preseason football poll. Well, every poll except the Knoxville Fulmer Sentinel, which will continue to pick UT number one until long after every conceivable permutation of league championship games and potential plane crashes have eliminated any possibility of the Little Orange even finishing [...]
Quote of the Week
Posted in Crazy Women, The Vick Criminal Empire, college football, nfl, sec on August 25, 2007 | Leave a Comment »
1. “My argument was, if he makes wise investments, other than in gold chains, then he should be able to make the payments,” lawyer for one of the nine women that Travis Henry has impregnated.
2. “You’re paying a media consultant — fire the consultant,” sayeth the judge in the Crazy Stalker Astro-Nut case after the [...]
Interview with Nick Saban
Posted in Nick Saban, college football, sec on August 25, 2007 | Leave a Comment »
Making it Rain: I know it was before you were hired, but Alabama has had nearly a decade of problems with the football program. Do you think that will add any extra challenges to the job you face this year?
Nick Saban: No.
MIR: All those years of probation, the limited scholarships, recruiting challenges. None of that [...]
It’s Probably Still Too Late for the Rebels
Posted in college football on August 23, 2007 | Leave a Comment »
All-World Mississippi High School Player of the Century* Chris Strong has finally snuck past the NCAA academic clearinghouse to become eligible to play for Ole Miss.
Which is a very good thing, since head coach Ed “Mumbles” Orgeron has had him on top of the depth chart at linebacker for two years now.
Although Strong has been [...]
USC Again
Posted in college football, sec, usc on August 19, 2007 | Leave a Comment »
Back when I was a sports writer and editor, about ten years ago, we got a press release from USC requesting that they be referred to from that day forward as “Southern Cal” and only as “Southern Cal.” I guess four people from the low country confused them with the other USC, South Carolina. We [...]
