What a great time to be in Arizona. Of course, there is a professional tackle football game being played there tomorrow. And all weekend is the golf tournament they play there, whatever the fuck they call it these days.
This tournament is a Super Bowl weekend tradition, with the rowdiest hole in golf, the par-3 16th. [...]
Archive for the ‘nfl’ Category
In The Zona
Posted in ASu Hotties, Crazy Women, Fans, The Shocker, golf, hot women, nfl on February 2, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
Cold Comfort
Posted in Amanda Beard, Eli Manning is a bitch, Super Bowl, nfl, tom brady on January 21, 2008 | 2 Comments »
Thanks for nothing Favre. Good thing that the frigid weather in Green Bay is such a fucking advantage for your team. After all, you wouldn’t want to lose a playoff game in Lambeau to Eli Fucking Manning.
Because that would just be embarrassing. Especially when you are, say, a seven point favorite.
Time to retire yet? Please, [...]
Eli’s Cumming. Err…On Second Thought, Probably not.
Posted in Eli Manning is a bitch, Green Bay Packer Bikini Girls, Peyton Manning, nfl on January 20, 2008 | 1 Comment »
It looks like the tempertaure at the time of kick off tonight in Green Bay is supposed to be about zero with a windchill in the negative teens.
Uh-oh, that means Kenny Chesney’s boyfriend’s brother’s testicles are never gonna descend.
Scenes From A Dallas Bunker
Posted in Dallas Cowboys, Eli Manning is a bitch, Hitler, Jessica Simpson likes to fuck famous people, Tony Romo likes to fuck famous people, belichick, nfl on January 19, 2008 | 1 Comment »
This isn’t exactly new, but well worth watching. The part that confuses me is that I always thought Belichick was really Hitler.
Ciao, Chow
Posted in nfl on January 18, 2008 | 3 Comments »
The Tennessee Titans have entered the Era of the Revolving Door.
Until Vince Young’s contract runs out, expect a never ending procession of Offensive Gurus (great band name) to pack a bag and head for the Third Coast*.
Say goodbye to Norm “Lendale off tackle” Chow. Say hello again, to Mike “Eddie off tackle” Heimerdinger. [...]
Turning Over A New Leaf
Posted in Fans, Peyton Manning, Philip Rivers, Ryan Leaf, Vols, nfl on January 14, 2008 | 3 Comments »
Indianapolis, Jan. 13, 2008.
Hey, you! Row D, seat 9! Yeah, I’m talking to you, fat ass. . . put that finger up again and I’ll come up there and break it off and shove it up your fat yankee corn eatin’ ass, motherfucker! Is that your wife or your pet haaaaaawg?!?! GodDAMM she’s a fucking [...]
Yoko Romo
Posted in Crazy Women, Dallas Cowboys, Jessica Simpson likes to fuck famous people, The Vick Criminal Empire, Tony Romo, Tony Romo likes to fuck famous people, belichick, hot women, nfl on January 14, 2008 | 6 Comments »
Now that’s just not fair.
Here’s Yoko Ono:
and here’s Jessica Simpson:
While I’ll admit Yolo’s rocking the Pilates legs at age 74, I don’t think that there’s an able-bodied male in our entire readership (both of you) who wouldn’t have made exactly the same choice as that young horn dog, Tony Romo.
I personally would do whatever it [...]
Strap ‘Em On
Posted in beer, football cliches, hot women, nfl on January 12, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
It’s time to sit back and enjoy some NFL Playoff football. Hopefully Daryl Johnston will continue to provide scintillating commentary like he did last week when he said, “He wishes he could have that throw back,” after an interception.
Here’s a picture I just took of my girlfriend. She dresses like this for me for all [...]
Look At Me, Peyton!
Posted in Peyton Manning, hot women, nfl on September 16, 2007 | Leave a Comment »
Whenever the defending World Champions roll into your town for a Sunday game, you can always count on a certain type of fan to show up.
The fan with the fake tan and fake tits that totally wants to fuck an NFL player.
Like this one:
Or this one:
Undercover Operation
Posted in belichick, nfl on September 13, 2007 | 1 Comment »
Hello?
Is this line secure?
Hang on a minute . . .OK, go ahead.
What’s with the fucking apology? You issued an apology? You made me interrupt my vacation for an APOLOGY? Have you lost your fucking mind?
I thought I’d nip it in the bud. You, know, not let things get out of hand. That’s what the [...]
Ocho Stinko
Posted in Chad Johnson, Kornheiser, MNF, Tirico, nfl on September 11, 2007 | Leave a Comment »
The national sports talking heads all have one thing in common. They all “really like” Chad Johnson. Whether it is Jim Rome or Michael Smith or Kornheiser, they all “really like” him. And each person says it almost apologetically, as though they’re they only one who really gets it. They don’t want to promote stupid [...]
This Ain’t No MuddaFuggin’ Sesame Skreet
Posted in Eli Manning is a bitch, nfl on September 6, 2007 | 1 Comment »
None of these things is not like the other:
Champ Bailey
Chris McAlister
Ed Reed
Adrian Wilson
Kerry Rhodes
Ken Hamlin
Walt Harris
Bob Sanders
Will Demps
Chris Hope
Lawyer Milloy
Gerald Sensabaugh
Fred Smoot
Chad Williams
Lance Schulters
Charles Woodson
What do all of these people have in common?
Well, for one thing, they’re all NFL defensive backs.
Secondly, they’re all black guys with white guy names.
Lastly, and most importantly, they are all [...]
I only saw it because it was on ESPN
Posted in Crazy Women, The Vick Criminal Empire, nfl on September 5, 2007 | 5 Comments »
Whoopi “I was funny once 20 years ago” Goldberg went on the View and defended Mike Vick’s dog fighting operation. I saw a few seconds of it on ESPN. I honestly can’t go watch it again without my eyes bleeding, but I can’t let it go, so I will be paraphrasing a little as far [...]
The Miss Teen USA Geographicalization Confusion Continues
Posted in hot women, nfl, sec on August 29, 2007 | Leave a Comment »
Here’s a picture of the chick who ended up winning, besting our heroine from South Carolina:
Her bio says she’s from Louisville. But it’s Louisville, Colorado?
I don’t know about you, but to me she’s looks like she’s got “Big Orange” written all over her.
Or rather, she will as soon as Travis Henry gets his fold-out couch [...]
O Mutha Fucka Where Art Thou?
Posted in The Vick Criminal Empire, nfl on August 28, 2007 | 3 Comments »
ROLLING HILLS
From high on a ridge we see the three chained men running toward us.
In addition to their clanks we hear a distant chugging sound.
TRACKING
Laterally with the clanking, running feet.
The chugging sound is very loud.
RUNNING
Next to a freight train. A boxcar door is open.
INSIDE THE BOXCAR
The lead convict hooks an elbow in and starts hauling [...]
Quote of the Week
Posted in Crazy Women, The Vick Criminal Empire, college football, nfl, sec on August 25, 2007 | Leave a Comment »
1. “My argument was, if he makes wise investments, other than in gold chains, then he should be able to make the payments,” lawyer for one of the nine women that Travis Henry has impregnated.
2. “You’re paying a media consultant — fire the consultant,” sayeth the judge in the Crazy Stalker Astro-Nut case after the [...]
Go Inside The Head
Posted in Eli Manning is a bitch, nfl on August 24, 2007 | 1 Comment »
In a feature where we actually go inside the heads of quarterbacks to see what makes them tick, we present Eli Manning.
I had no idea San Diego would be this good. I mean, come on, LaDainian Tomlinson? What was he, like a sixth rounder out of TCU? Who knew, really?
Maybe if I hadn’t looked like [...]
Your Guide To NFL Quarterbacks and Presidential Candidates
Posted in nfl on August 22, 2007 | 1 Comment »
Hillary Clinton and Eli Manning
Clinton: Currently resides in New York. Owes her success to powerful family members. Is a big bitch.
Manning: Currently resides in New York. Owes his success to powerful family members. Is a little bitch.
Barack Obama and Vince Young
Obama: The Great Black Hope for millions of guilty white [...]
Brady to Seek Time Off
Posted in nfl, tom brady on August 21, 2007 | Leave a Comment »
Tom Brady may need a few days off this pre-season to be present at the birth of his child, who was conceived last December in a moving ceremony with actress, and former girlfriend, Bridget Moynahan. The child, a chiseled-jawed, steely-eyed boy-king to be named Jesus Lombardi Brady, is expected to arrive on or around the [...]
