Posted in Fans, Peyton Manning, Philip Rivers, Ryan Leaf, Vols, nfl on January 14, 2008 | 3 Comments »
Indianapolis, Jan. 13, 2008.
Hey, you! Row D, seat 9! Yeah, I’m talking to you, fat ass. . . put that finger up again and I’ll come up there and break it off and shove it up your fat yankee corn eatin’ ass, motherfucker! Is that your wife or your pet haaaaaawg?!?! GodDAMM she’s a fucking [...]
Posted in Fans, Vols on October 8, 2007 | Leave a Comment »
My 12 year old stepson and I were walking (well, he was walking, I was staggering) into our local professional football team’s meaningless pre-season game, when he asked me,
“Phil, why aren’t you wearing Titans gear?”
“Same reason I don’t dress like Mr. Spock when I go see a Star Trek movie, son.”
He laughed, which I [...]
Posted in Phil Fulmer, Rachael Ray covered in turkey juice, Vols, college football, steve spurrier on September 18, 2007 | Leave a Comment »
(RING.) Hello, this is the ol’ ball coach.
Uh, Mr. Spurrier? This is Phillip Fulmer.
SS: Well, shoooo-weeeee, Philly-boy! What’s going on, ya big ol’ tub of lard?
PF: Uh, well, Mr. Spurrier, actually I’m calling about that dad-gum game last Saturday.
SS: What game exactly do you want to talk about, fat boy? I’m kinda busy here, [...]
Posted in Jimmy Clausen, Michigan sucks, Phil Fulmer, Vols, college football on September 16, 2007 | 3 Comments »
Michigan-38 Notre Dame-0
Thirty-eight to nuttin’. Five td’s and a field goal to zoo.
From a historical perspective, that’d be XXXVIII to . For you uneducated Philistines out there, that’s the Mayan symbol for zero, a concept they invented. But before we get all excited about how brilliant the Mayan society was [...]
Posted in Vols, college football, hot women, sec on September 10, 2007 | Leave a Comment »
I’m typing this from my wireless keyboard, cowering under my desk waiting for the seventh seal to be broken.
Four, count `em, four!, SEC teams lost at home this past weekend. And only one of them was Vanderbilt.
The University of Miss-Again and the Serial Papists of South Bend are now 0-4, losing by a combined score [...]
Posted in Eli Manning is a bitch, Peyton Manning, Phil Fulmer, Rachael Ray covered in turkey juice, Vols, hot women, sec on August 31, 2007 | Leave a Comment »
Why the heck do we have to go out to dad-gum California to start the season? Bunch of dad-gum hippies out there.
Boy, I sure do miss Peyton. At least his dad-gum, pansy-ass brother didn’t go to school here.
I bet all those hippies out there in dad-gum California are going to take pot before the game. [...]
