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Archive for the ‘Erin Andrews’ Category

Look, I’ve been gone nearly a year. I come back, and you sumbitches are still coming here by the hundreds. So let’s recap what’s happened.

Trevor Immelman won the Masters after they sucked all the roar-inducing charge possibilities out of the course. Tiger Woods beat Rocco Mediate with a broken leg. It’s predicted that if Rocco’s belt continues to rise, his pants will be over his head by the time he makes the senior tour. Somebody won the PGA, don’t make me look it up.

The Phillies won the World Series, which started sometime around December.

The Titans surprised everyone by picking some dude nobody had ever heard of named Chris Johnson in the first round. turns out the kid is pretty fast. The Titans also surprised everyone by having the best record in football. And they beat the Steelers and made them cry because their towels got dirty. Oh, but the Steelers did win the last game of the season. So there’s that with the rings and all.

Shaq got real busy on Twitter. So did Lance Armstrong.

Erin Andrews continued her reign as the top traffic driver for this site.
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Soccer still sucks.

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I did my NCAA bracket. Just because it is mandatory if you are an American citizen. I do it in about 10 minutes. I have no idea who I picked over who, so as the tournament goes on, I’ll have to go back and check. Despite my lack of college basketball knowledge, I usually do pretty well in this thing. I pay my “units” so I might win some “bragging rights.” Because actual gambling is illegal.

Here’s the best part of college basketball, Erin Andrews.
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I’ve never been on to talk about the “good old days.” It wasn’t better back then, walking up hill in the snow and all that. God knows I wish I had titanium drivers and perimeter weighted irons and one-piece balls and views of Kristy McNichol’s shaved snatch at the touch of a button back when I was growing up. But, back in my day, the hottest celebrities at the time didn’t shave their snatches and flash them for the cameras. But I digress.

We did, however, have the Clambake. The Bing Crosby Pebble Beach Pro-Am. We watched Dean Martin and Bob Hope and Jack Lemmon and Joey Bishop and Sammy Davis, Jr. play golf and hit people in the gallery and try to shake off hangovers and it was cool, oh, yeah it was cool. OK, most of the celebs were at their zenith during my parents time (at least), but still they were cool. Damn cool. And the tournament was won by people like Nicklaus and Miller and Watson.

What do we have now. Kenny G., (irrelevant smooth-jazz sax blower) Clay Walker, (irrelevant hasn’t-had-a-hit-in-20-years Country singer). Chris “Big Loud Fat Ass” Berman. Michael Bolton. Joe Kernan. Chris O’Donnell.

And then, there’s Danny Gans. The poster boy for irrelevance. As far as I can tell, he is famous for finding any live camera he can find and doing a markedly unfunny impression of Mike Meyers doing, Dr. Evil.

Danny fucking Gans. What the fuck? He still does George Burns, for God’s sake. A man who was born in the 1800s. Bing is rolling over in his grave.

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God, I gotta cleanse my palette. Here’s Erin Andrews eating a sandwich.
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Welcome Erin Fans

We get a lot of traffic from people searching for Erin Andrews. So here’s a photo of Erin Andrews holding a pizza.

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And here is a picture of Erin Andrews’ ass.

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You’re welcome.

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