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Maria Sharapova is doing well at the Australian Open.

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We have no interest in Women’s tennis at Making it Rain.

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So we don’t really have anything to say about her domintion on the court this week.

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Because we have no interest in Women’s Tennis here.

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We do like golf, though.

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So here is a photo of Natalie Gulbis doing yoga before a round of golf.

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Wanna feel better about your game?

Charles Barkley has the world’s ugliest fucking golf swing. Ever.

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I have to avert my eyes.

You know whose swing I’d rather look at?

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There. That’s better.

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The big show is upon us. The inaugural FedEx Cup. The NASCAR rip-off that nobody understands. The one where if you win, you get a big check that you can’t cash for 20 years. The one where you earn a bunch of points all year then lose them then start over. The one where they cut the field down from tournament to tournament, so if you’re, say, 129th, you really got no shot. The one that Tiger is so psyched about that he’s given himself a first-round bye.

And on day one, the PGA’s ultimate wet dream has come true. The clubhouse leaders are (drumroll, please).

1. Brian Gay

2. Briney Baird
Heath Slocum
Jeff Maggart

That should fire up those TV ratings. At least Michelle Wie can’t piss all over this one.

Speaking of Michelle Wie, here’s a picture of Natalie Gulbis in a bikini.

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Tiger Woods is skipping the first tournament of the FedEx Cup. He says he’s too tired from winning the last two tournaments (Firestone and PGA) in a row. There was a caller on a local sports call-in show the other day who was all bent out of shape, because as the “face of the sport” he owed it to everyone to play.

To which I cry bullshit. He doesn’t owe anybody anything. He says he’s tired, but the real reason he’s skipping it, I suspect, is because he can. Let’s look at the FedEx Cup points standing from number one all the way down to number two:

1. Tiger Woods: 30,574
2. Vijay Singh: 19,129

Woods can, and will, win the FedEx cup without playing in the first tournament. I think another reason he’s not going is because of his family. I don’t care how rich you are, being a new dad is freaky. He’s still in that stage where you go in during naps just to make sure your kid is still breathing. He just wants to stay home. He’s Tiger Woods. He can do that.

Speaking of golf, here’s a picture of Natalie Gulbis in a bikini.

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Woody Austin, you have always been the lovable journeyman PGA dude. The guy with the really ugly shirts with eerie green and orange beach scenes on them. The guy who beats himself in the head with a putter. The guy sponsored by Tabasco who beats himself in the head with his putter. The guy who gets on TV every third or fourth year. The guy who beats himself in the head with his putter. The guy who shot 62 to win in Memphis this year making everyone like you. You know, the guy who beats himself in the head with a putter finally won this year. Cool.

Then you came in second in the PGA and you play the “no respect” card? You say you played better than Tiger on Friday when you shot a 70 and he shot a 63? You say that when you’re hitting it right you’re the best in the world?

Well guess what? When I hit it right, I’m the best in the world. How about that time I flushed a 195-yard uphill, blind 4-iron over a lake to 8 inches at that Robert Trent Jones Golf Trail course down in Alabama? I’ll give you a 20 buckets of balls to get inside my shot. No way you would do it. At that moment, I was the best in the world.

You went from lovable nut to idiot. Maybe you and Sergio should get together and write a manifesto decrying the vast conspiracy the golf media has against you two. Meanwhile, why don’t you beat Tiger before you start telling us you are better than him.

Speaking of golfers, here’s Natalie Gulbis in a bikini.

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